Quiz | Money StoryTypes by Alex Forbes

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Firm 1.1

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Hands off 1.1

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Hands off 2

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Permissive 1.1

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Balanced 1.1

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Connection / Communication

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Values

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Questions and Answers

I often try to convince myself I’ll use something I buy on impulse, but then rarely do.(Required)

Yes, that's me

I only really buy things I need

Not for myself, but I often buy things for others

I don’t mind either way, it’s just money

I buy what will feel exciting or will benefit me in the long run

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I hide my money problems. I often continue to spend money to hide the problem.(Required)

Yes, no one really knows the true extent

No, that's not me

I try to hide it but I think it's probably obvious

I rarely have money problems because I plan carefully

I focus on using money to help others

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I like having the latest things: I always know when I’m due a phone upgrade and get it right away!(Required)

Did you know the latest Apple iPhone is due for release soon...

Not at all, I'm happy to make do with what I have

I check out the features and then decide if I really need them

I see new technology as a long-term investment

I prefer to spend on others rather than myself

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You only live once… Why not spend the money I have as it may be gone tomorrow…(Required)

Absolutely!

I don't have this view

I wish I could live life this way!

I prefer to invest in exciting growth opportunities

I spend money to help others feel good as it makes me feel good about myself

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I think money corrupts people.(Required)

I totally agree with this

Not always...

No way, money is just a tool!

It depends on how you manage it

I try not to think about it

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I am always thinking of ways to help or spending money to help other people, even if they haven’t asked.(Required)

Not me

Oh yes, I do like to help out!

Not if they haven't asked

I don’t think about it much. I prefer to let others sort it out

Sometimes, if it feels right in the moment

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I often regret money I’ve spent or how much I’ve spent.(Required)

Yes, I have lots of money regrets

Yes, if it goes against the plans I made

No regrets. Mistakes are a learning opportunity

It is what it is. Things usually work out in the end

I regret not spending more to help others

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I spend a lot of money on birthdays and Christmas on gifts for people(Required)

Yes, loads!

I don't plan to, but then I see lovely things I just know others will love!

I have a strict plan and I try to stick to it

I leave the gifts to someone else; my presence is my present!

I am super creative with gifts and often spend on things that will benefit them in the future

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I’ve often had to pay fees and surcharges because I’ve forgotten or not been able to pay a bill on time(Required)

Yes

Never! The shame…

Who knows. I don’t manage the money in my household

I can't forget, all my payments are automated

I often get distracted from helping others and forget

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I often go without so that I can spend on other people(Required)

Sometimes or more often than not

Not really. I find myself often worrying if I will have enough money

Not at all. I prefer to advise others instead

It’s just money, I don’t mind either way

If it feels right in the moment, yes

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I will easily pick something up I see when I’m out for someone else, but think for a long time if I see something I want for myself(Required)

This is so me!

No. If I want it I get it!

If it's really needed then I'll buy it

I prefer not to buy anything unnecessary

If it feels exciting then yes

This field is required.

I almost always offer to pay the bill when I go out to eat: “It’s on me!”(Required)

Of course! It is embarrassing otherwise

No, we split the bill

I'd love to, but probably couldn't afford to

I prefer to pay for others to help them out

I consider it based on the future benefits

This field is required.

Receiving gifts or help (especially financial help) feels very awkward for me(Required)

Yes, I often find it hard to hold onto money..

Yes. I can provide for myself and I want others to know that

I love to look after others. I sometimes find if I overgive I can feel resentful

It makes me feel uncomfortable, I prefer to be financially independent

I don't mind either way, it's just money

This field is required.

I wouldn’t want to have more money or nicer things than my friends or family - I’d feel so bad!(Required)

This is definitely me

Why feel bad? They could have more money if they wanted

No. I'd be over the moon to have more money!

I don’t really care either way

I prefer to use money for future growth opportunities rather than current luxuries

This field is required.

I’ve often thought about all the people I would help if I won the lottery!(Required)

Me. I would help me!

Just imagine the good you could do with all that money!

I'd be over the moon to have more money or share it with them, so long as I was financially secure first

I would prefer to invest it for the future

I don’t think much about it, it’s just money

This field is required.

When someone helps me or shows me a kindness, I feel I owe them in return. I go over and above to return the ‘favour’(Required)

Yes, this is definitely me

Not really... should I?

Not at all. It was their choice

I try to repay in a way that benefits both of us in the long term

If it feels right in the moment, yes

This field is required.

Money shouldn't be a motivator. Service is the motivator. I resent money's importance in the world - it’s irrelevant to a happy life(Required)

I completely agree with this

Perhaps, but money makes the world go round

Money isn't a motivator, it's a tool. What I can do with money motivates me

I agree, money is just a means to an end

Money is important to plan and secure the future

This field is required.

I plan money meticulously and carefully.(Required)

Yes, that's me

I definitely have a high-level plan, but I am less interested in the details

That's definitely not me

I prefer to allow others to take on this responsibility

I have a loose plan but often sacrifice my desires for others' needs

This field is required.

I don’t like to give gifts that people might think are cheap(Required)

That's me, and I often spend far too much to make sure

It's the thought that counts

I don't want others to think I'm cheap... But I won't blow my budget

I don’t think much about it, it’s just money

I prefer gifts that are exciting and have long-term benefits

This field is required.

I know all the fine details about my (our) finances. What comes in and goes out every month.(Required)

Of course! I love a good budget or money-tracking system

A budget is too restrictive. I avoid examining my finances due to the emotions

I try to keep track but prefer others to do it for me

I prefer focusing on the bigger, long-term picture with money

I try to keep track, but my money boundaries are often blurred

This field is required.

Complex

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Your Money StoryTypes
What your type means for you
Personalised PDF report

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Perosnality Type

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Percent Perosnality All Type

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Identify the lowest topic number

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Impulsive General Feddback

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Enabler General Feddback

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Architect General Feddback

You have a Hands Off Parent Style

From your answers, it appears you adopt a Passive and Absentee approach to parenting. This is not as harsh as it sounds, but is less than ideal. You probably feel overwhelmed, lead a very busy life, and end up prioritising your own needs, as you believe children learn by doing it themselves.

You may inadvertently end up neglecting your child’s physical and emotional needs and appear disengaged as a parent.

You may find yourself thinking “Do what you want, as long as you leave me in peace to do my work.”

This can be damaging to a child’s emotional development and self-esteem, so you need to consider becoming more involved in your child's life, above and beyond just fulfilling the basic duties expected of you.

What you do well:

You love your child and believe competence breeds confidence.

You place a high value on independence and self-reliance.

You strongly beleive in the importance of a child thinking and acting for themselves.

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Pacifist General Feddback

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Key Area 1

Impulsive

1. Don’t focus on the negative

When your child doesn’t listen to you it’s easy to nag, repeat, remind and criticise which puts our attention in the wrong place. This is called the negativity bias and you need to notice and comment when the children are doing the right thing. This is a much more effective way of getting cooperation than focusing on negative behaviour.

Create a more nurturing and warm atmosphere by verbally expressing your love for your child through descriptive praise and affection.

2. Deliver relevant and meaningful consequences

Positive discipline, delivered calmly, is designed to help your children learn how to behave without lowering their self-esteem. Using the naughty step is counterproductive and doesn’t enable your child to learn from his mistakes. It’s a form of punishment that’s often delivered in anger, judgement and criticism and makes a child feel bad. No learning takes place and often leads to more misbehaviour.

Depending on what rule is broken, make sure the consequence is relevant and meaningful to the misbehaviour so that every mistake is a teaching opportunity. Otherwise you will find your child may become more rebellious and resentful.

3. Be an Emotion Coach for your child

How your child feels, influences how they behave. All behaviour has a cause and an emotion is often at the root of it.

You can help your children understand and manage their emotions, by accepting all their feelings are valid. Your child then becomes more emotionally intelligent and more emotionally regulated.

Name the feelings to tame them e.g.

“You look really sad/ frustrated/ angry just now” or “It sounds like you are really upset about that”.

So, listen and validate your child’s feelings, even though you may not agree. This helps keep the lines of communication open.

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Key Area 2

Enabler

1. Support your children to be more independent and self-reliant

Self-reliant children are able to do things for themselves, including their own thinking, problem-solving and managing their emotions. If you do too much for your children, they develop learned helplessness and a sense of entitlement, lose confidence and become risk-averse.

Don’t automatically answer your child’s questions. Instead, encourage them to work it out or say “Take a guess.”

If your child says “Do I have to clear up my toys now?” you can reply “What’s the rule about that” or “What do you think.” But don’t be tempted to tidy up the toys for them, because it’s quicker and easier.

So, think about what tasks around the house you can give to your child, to help them be more independent in action and thought and more self-reliant. Remember competence breeds confidence.

2. Values are caught not taught

Work out what’s important to you, the strongly held beliefs that guide you. These are your values. These give you a clear vision of how you want your family to be, so you can create family rules. Children learn our values or behaviours when we practice them, not from being told. Children see, children do.

Sit down with your family and explore what makes “Our Family way of life”. Create a family mission statement about the things that are important to you and from that create rules.

E.g.  If family togetherness is important then a rule may be “Leave electronics in the drop zone at meal time.”

So, actively work out what your values are so you can create clear rules.

3. Be firm with your boundaries and consequences

Agree rules between parents, and given consistency is important, there may need to be some compromise. Demonstrate that actions have consequences without punishment, disapproval or threats, as this helps children learn to take responsibility for their behaviour.

Ask the children – what rule do we need here? Frame the rules positively e.g. “Scooters outside”, is more effective than “no scooters inside” as our brains can’t visualise negatives. Be specific, so not “be polite”, but “please ask before you leave the table”. When children follow the rule acknowledge that, and when they don’t, know your consequence, e.g a privilege that hasn’t been earned.

So, actively provide more positive discipline and be firmer and more consistent in setting your boundaries.

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Key Area 3

Architect

1. Provide warmth and love

Focus on what they’re getting right, and start to notice and mention small steps in the right direction. Identify the quality shown by the behaviour. Acknowledge effort, improvement and strategies, not results. According to the Gottman Institute, we need to hear 5 positives for each negative comment in order to build a good relationship between parent and child. Positive comments also help children feel good and be motivated and foster a healthy self-esteem.

2. Express interest and get involved in your child’s life.

Demonstrate curiosity about your child’s passions. Ask them to teach you how to play a game, whether electronic or otherwise. Go to school events and matches. Show an interest in what they’re learning at school.

Ask open-ended questions to find out about their interests, beliefs and feelings. Try conversation starters like table topics.

So, you may need to schedule some regular time to just hang out with your child one on one. If it’s not in the diary it’s unlikely to happen.

3. Connect and communicate by listening more.

Help your child feel more connected to you, by supporting them to understand and manage their emotions.

When children are angry, disappointed or jealous it is tempting to dismiss, ignore, advise or try to change how they feel in order to change their behaviour, or because we feel validating their feelings may be indulging them. We need to accept their feelings first, so we can help them process those feelings.

So, make time to listen and acknowledge what your children are saying and feeling?

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Key Area 4

Pacifist

1. Keep assessing your child’s temperament and needs

You’re doing a great job, and just keep being mindful to knowing your child’s temperament.

Temperament is that range of in-built traits that define how your children interact with the world. Understanding and accepting your child’s make up, allows you to provide more effectively for his needs. We can’t change their temperament, but we can help them develop better responses.

So, keep checking that you understand their temperament and their needs at each age and stage of development.

2. Expand your warmth and love with the Golden Book

Focus on what they are getting right, and start to notice and mention small steps in the right direction. Identify the quality shown by the behaviour. Acknowledge effort, improvement and strategies, not results. According to the Gottman Institute, we need to hear 5 positives for each negative comment in order to build a good relationship between parent and child. Positive comments also help children feel good and be motivated and foster a healthy self-esteem.

So, keep a notebook for your child dedicated to recording what you notice in terms of the effort, attitude, qualities and write 5  Descriptive Praises (DPs) for your children each day. Make it a daily ritual to read it through with your child at bedtime, and if you have a teen, still keep the notebook and leave it lying in a common area for them to look at.

3. Practice radical self-care as you are the most important resource for your family.

Your physical, intellectual, social and emotional wellbeing forms the foundation for a happy family. Taking care of yourself, and your couple relationship, is not being selfish or self-indulgent. It is your responsibility to ensure you are in a calm space to allow you to parent in a calm, connected way.

So, compare yourself to a bank account and make emotional deposits in order to keep yourself from becoming emotionally spent. Micro moments can have macro impact.

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Call to Action 1

So having taken the quiz, and listened to your personalised video, it may be you're already practising positive parenting, and my report confirms that you're on the right track, or you may be a little intrigued about the world of positive parenting, and the impact it can have on your children.

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